my sweetie

Oh, how I love her smiles!

Currently Reading: The Vaccine Book, Dr. Sears

I'm not saying that I'm against vaccines, because in my opinion they all have importance in the grand scheme of things...and I do believe it is important to keep the population of the United States free of diseases that once ravaged the country. However, as a stay-at-home mom who is exclusively breastfeeding...i have some decisions to make regarding the schedule with which to vaccinate Johanna. Ahh, I hate making these decisions. I am glad someone has come out with a fairly un-biased opinion on vaccines and the recommended vaccine schedule. I am definitely going to delay some vaccines-in fact I already rejected the Hep B vaccine routinely given at the hospital to newborns, due to the fact that it is impossible at this point, for Johanna to contract Hep B (a sexually transmitted disease, also acquired through shared IV drug needles, and VERY rarely blood transfusions.) I am definitely concerned about preservatives such as formaldehyde, as well as the amount of aluminum found in vaccines. I hope I make the right decisions in vaccinating our baby girl, but I highly recommend this book to ALL parents making these important decisions, not just for their babies, but growing children as well.

birth announcement

i can't send these to everyone, but thankfully I have this digital copy to share :-)

one month ago today

My sweet girl,
One month ago today, you entered my world (well you'd been with me technically longer) but you made your grand entrance and I got to see your beautiful face. I can't believe it's already been a month! Time truly is passing so quickly, and even though I'm more exhausted than I've ever been...I am trying my best to cherish every minute that your hands and feet are this tiny...because I know one day soon I'll have to run to keep up with you. Even now, as you sit hiccuping on daddy's chest...getting frustrated that you can't shake them, I hope you know how much I love you and how thankful I am that God gave you to me!

our birth story

On September 24, 2009, God blessed us with a beautiful, healthy, perfect baby girl. Johanna Mae Lawson, 7 lbs 4 oz, 19 inches long. I cannot believe it's almost been a week since my life completely changed. It feels like a whirlwind. I'm caught in a mix of crazy emotions, trying to remember each and every moment up until now. It's unbelievable how sleep deprivation doesn't hinder your desire to care for your child. I never thought I could survive on such a small amount of sleep.

At 6:50 PM on Tuesday, September 22, my water broke. I was standing near the oven, cooking some dinner, and it just happened. I was in disbelief at first...thinking, could this be it? So I called the midwife on call, who happened to be my midwife Linda, who said I should come in to the clinic in the morning to verify. I had been having irregular contractions for two days before, but they were coming every 7-20 or even 30 minutes apart. I figured they were just Braxton Hicks. I was praying all night long that they'd pick up, so I wouldn't have to worry about augmenation with Pitocin. After a sleepless night, I still wasn't having any regular contractions by morning. I decided to hold off going to the clinic until after lunch, to buy myself more time. We headed to the eye doctor to pick up my new glasses before heading downtown. (Hey, I wanted my new glasses!) Thank GOD we packed our bags on Sunday!

After arriving at West End Women's Clinic, they hooked me up for a non-stress test to monitor Johanna and to see my contractions. Linda checked and said I was 4 cm dialated, 75% effaced, and contracting every 3-4 minutes. We decided we would just head over to Vanderbilt Medical Center to labor there, because we didn't want to drive all the way home. Knowing I needed to be in active labor by 7 pm (they give you 24 hours from the time your water breaks to get things going) we met our doula Annie at the hospital and began to walk the halls to get labor moving. By 7pm, the on-call midwife came in to check me, which revealed I hadn't progressed from the 4cm I arrived at. After a good cry, I realized I had no choice but to accept augmentation with Pitocin. It was a huge deviation from my birth plan, but the risk of infection after 24 hours is really great and I just knew we needed to have her soon. Chris and I prayed, and talked and agreed we would be OKAY! The nurse agreed to start slow, at 2 units and said we would work our way up every 30-45 minutes. Terrified, I prayed God would give me strength to withstand the Pitocin without further intervention. There were so many times I felt I couldn't go on, but Chris and Annie were amazing and kept telling me "Beck, you're doing it!" I began pushing around 3 AM (well, I think anyway...we took the clock down) and I kept asking "how much longer? how much longer?" The only response I was given was "soon, very soon." I felt like I had no strength left, but somehow God gave me the strength to make it through it, and our beautiful amazing daughter was born naturally, without drugs, at 4:38 AM Thursday morning. All I could think was "we did it!" It was the most empowering feeling knowing that my body did what God created it to do...and joining the ranks of generations past who've done the same. I'm just so thankful we were able to have the experience of natural childbirth and so thankful to God for giving me the strength to do it.

Happy Birthday my love!

Introducing Johanna Mae Lawson. Born 9/24/2009 at 4:38 AM. 7 lbs. 4 oz. 19 inches long. She is amazing. I can't believe how good God is. Praise Him for his amazing creation!

less than 2 weeks...but she'll come when she wants!

People keep asking what my "due date" is, and it's getting somewhat exhausting to explain to people that traditionally "due dates" are just an arbitrary number that was developed by doctors in the early 1900's to describe what they thought was the "correct gestation" period of a typical fetus. We prefer to call it our "guess date". What research shows is that average gestation time for a first time mom is 41 weeks 1 day....AVERAGE! Which means that people go longer and shorter. Unfortunately, many babies are considered "late" after 40 weeks and unnecessary inductions take place as a result. Sadly, inductions lead to increases in epidurals, failure to progress, cesarean sections, and other unnecessary complications. Also, so many people are induced due to "suspected big babies" but there is no research to show that this is necessary or accurate. Read a great article about big babies HERE.
There is virtually no way to tell how big a baby will be in utero, nor are ultrasounds an accurate description or weight or size (they can be off by 2 lbs. in either direction!) My heart really goes out to people who are uninformed, and scared into unnecessary induction due to having a "big baby."
I feel so blessed to be working with a midwife, who will not even speak of induction until I near 42 weeks, nor pressure me to have my baby. I feel relaxed and confident that my baby will come when she's ready. I finally packed my bags last night, and I am slowly getting things done. I know not everything will be done before she arrives, but honestly I'm okay with that. I'm excited about letting labor happen naturally, and am looking forward to finally meeting my daughter in the near future...whenever she decides to come. Can't wait to introduce her to the world!

All glory to Him!

After waiting not so patiently, I finally called the midwife on-call one day to DEMAND answers....and what do you know...the lab had rushed the results of the serum bile test. My levels were low and I am free to continue with my original childbirth plan! Praise GOD! Apparently they didn't call because they figured I would think "no news is good news". Do they know me????? Seriously. I am so relieved, and the itching isn't nearly as bad now as it was two weeks ago. They said there are a small number of people who do not fit into the ICP category but have unexplained itching in pregnancy without a rash. I guess pregnancy can just do really weird things to your body. Though they said it was good I had the tests run because usually itching without a rash does signal ICP. What an answer to prayer. I know a lot of you have been praying for us, and I want to say with all my heart, your prayers were felt. I know that God listens and hears our petitions and this was definitely an answer to prayer!
Love to you all!

important week

Had a follow up appt. on Friday to draw more blood for another Serum Bile Acid test. I'm now in the waiting period once again. However, this weekend I resolved to get answers. After hearing from others in my birthing class, I feel assured it is not only important, but CRITICAL to find someone who can give me answers by the end of the week. I can't keep waiting around, not knowing if I truly have the condition. At this point, I've started on Ursodiol (Actigall), the medication used to treat ICP. It's safe to take in pregnancy, but regardless everything I've read says that induction around 37 weeks is essential to ensure safety of the baby. I will be 37 weeks on Saturday. I plan on finding someone who can push for the blood results, which will show if I have ICP. If no one can get the test results, I am going to push forward for induction of our baby early next week. I can't just "wait and see" what happens. We know that if I do have ICP, the risk of stillbirth after 37 weeks jumps from 1% in the normal population, to 15%. I'm not willing to take that risk. At this point, prayers are needed that we can find someone, ANYONE, who will do everything it takes to help us make sure our baby is safe and healthy.

Also, a few pictures of the nursery:
It's not anywhere near complete, but the walls are done!

brief update

After waiting, and lots of worrying and praying, we heard today that the lab was unable to successfully process my bloodwork in regards to the Serum Bile Acid test. We have to have results to know if there is a diagnosis of ICP (Cholestasis of Pregnancy). We know that God is at work and watching over us, but patience is running thin and it is incredibly hard waiting. Our next course of action is to have blood drawn again, possibly tomorrow, and to wait some more (assuming they can figure out what caused the error in the test). We may possibly meet with Maternal Fetal Medicine regarding our situation in the next few days. If I have the condition, the protocol is to induce at 37 weeks (I will be 36 weeks on Saturday). Since it is such a time-sensitive issue, we are praying new test results could be expedited, if possible, and that we will be able to consult with someone who knows more about the condition and risks. At this point we are only working with our Certified Nurse Midwife (who is incredibly thoughtful and doing her best to help, but) whose scope of practice is generally healthy pregnancies. Please pray that God would guide us and lead us to the right people to help us make the best and safest decisions for our baby!

remain calm

Starting with a scripture I was given last night, while reading, searching, and praying.

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”
Exodus 14:14 from the New Living Translation

Also, my Mom got the same message, just hours before and posted on her blog HERE.
I had no idea, just found out, how cool!

I've been having some mild to moderate itching...and it all started about a week and half ago. I noticed the palm of my hand was really itchy, but thought maybe I touched something that caused a skin reaction. Didn't think much else of it until this Tuesday. All day long, I had mild itching that got progressively worse into the evening. I started scratching my skin SO hard, I left a deep bruise on my thigh. It worried me a little, especially since there was no visible rash anywhere, so I scoured the internet to see if I could find a remedy...something that would take the itch away. I soon found that there is a condition called ICP (Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy) that can cause itching without a rash usually beginning in the third trimester and getting worse in the evening. It only affects 1 or 2 of 1000 women, and while it causes what seems to be harmless itching, it can be dangerous for the unborn baby. It's a condition related to the gallbladder and liver, where bile salts pool in the blood stream causing itching, and if bile salts in the blood cross over into the placenta it can cause problems for the baby. About 5 AM Wednesday morning, I called the on-call midwife when the itching woke me up. She suggested I come into the clinic for a blood draw to test for the condition. At this point, I am still awaiting lab results, and having a really hard time staying calm, being patient, and having faith that God is in control, and always has been.
Waiting is the hardest thing to do when it involves something so important as the well-being of your unborn child. Feeling helpless, I cried out to God last night and he gave me Exodus 14:14. It is not His will for harm to come to our baby. He will FIGHT for her. He is fighting for her, and I need to remain calm. Please pray that I would meditate on that, that He would fight for her, protect her, and keep her safe until she's in our arms.

a new hobby emerges....

I can finally post pictures of a new hobby I've taken to recently. After receiving a gorgeous handmade baby gift from a girlfriend back home, I decided I needed to figure out how to make my own adorable embroidered baby gifts! See hers HERE.

To start, I visited Sublime Stitching and ordered the "La Petite Embroidery Kit". It includes everything you need to get started, plus a pattern pack of your choice. I also ordered a few more patterns, thinking I may as well have them all shipped together. The kit came with 4 colors of embroidery floss, but I decided to go to Micheal's for a few more, and found they're only 35 cents a piece! So, I picked up a bunch of colors I like, and got to work!

My first project was a monkey onesie for a friend's son (he turned 1 on the 4th of July but his party was last weekend). I'm having a lot of fun with the patterns. I picked up some plain white onesies at Babies 'R' Us to get started with. I'll post more pictures soon, but here is the first finished product!

july 19 = pure bliss

I sit here and type this, smack in the middle of july, with the windows open, cool breeze blowing the curtains and birds singing. Wow, it just can't get better than this! 75 degrees in Nashville, in JULY!? The past two days have been absolutely amazing. The weather is just incredible. I wish this would go on forever.
We had an amazing morning at RHCC, and lunch with friends at Panera afterward. So great to hang with fun people on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Need to get things moving in the way of nursery furniture, painting, etc. but that will just have to wait. Off to enjoy what's left of this amazing afternoon with my husband!

Food, Inc.

On Saturday afternoon, Chris and I went to see Food, Inc., a documentary just released about large food corporations (specifically meat processing and packing). As someone who has been generally interested in, and skeptical of, meat processing here in America, I didn't need much convincing that there is something incredibly messed up about the entire system. I buy local fruit and vegetables whenever possible, as well as free range eggs, organic chicken, and grain-fed beef whenever possible. I had to turn away at quite a few of the scenes depicted in the movie. Mainly, I just felt outrage about lack of consumer knowledge, and even more-so about the way that these large corporations view the general public and their right to know.

There we so many take-home messages. I know lots of people (I mean I personally know) lots of people who buy things solely on the basis of price. I'm not saying this is in every case wrong, but there are still so many ways to make better choices. I was once told that "you don't have to support the ideas of a company just because you purchase things from them." I must say that I wholeheartedly disagree with that. When you purchase a product, or from a store, you are voting for them. You are saying what they do is okay by you. I feel strongly that it is important to support local agriculture, as well as businesses that have ethical practices. You don't have to pay a fortune for quality food, you just have to be particularly aware of the things you are buying and look for sales.

-buy things at farmer's markets and from road-side stands
-buy things in season
-join a local CSA (go to localharvest.org)
-when you can't buy organic, buy things you can take the skin off of (bananas, melons, etc.) vs. what you eat with the skin on (apples, berries)

I highly recommend seeing this documentary, if for nothing else to at least become more educated about the foods we partake of and put our trust in.

bigger and better (well, mostly)

Blogging has gone by the wayside. I must admit, having not blogged for several, several weeks....I am officially a horrible blogger. My sincere apologies for my 3 friends/family members who actually check my blog expecting updates. Traveling for several weeks in june really put the whole blogging thing on hold. That, plus I've been twittering too much. stupid twitter. it's addicting. You can type short phrases over the course of the day without having to come up with an entire entry. The sheer brilliance of it!

Chris and I had our 28 week appointment yesterday, at which I had to drink a nasty lemon-lime flavored (glucola) drink for testing for gestational diabetes. Fun. Then I had to get my blood drawn 1 hour later. Not so fun. Haven't heard anything back, so I'm assuming I am okay on that end. I am, however, slightly anemic...and may need to start taking iron supplements in addition to my regularly scheduled prenatal vitamin.

After much consideration, i've decided not to have another ultrasound done unless it's advised or necessary. I guess God has been working on me, and I'm just putting this entire pregnancy and baby in his miraculous, life giving hands. She's movin' and shakin' all day, every day, which has also given me peace that she is doing just fine. It's so hard knowing that I have no control over her well-being at this point, other than to do my best to take care of myself (and her in turn.) Wow, I never thought pregnancy would be this complicated....

Chris and I are officially done traveling until Christmas (though we may take a weekend getaway here in the next month or so....). Can't believe she could be here in 10 weeks! Wow! We cannot wait to finally start our life together with her! We have family visiting in August and September, and we're always looking forward to having visitors. The nursery at this point is a jumbled mess of disassembled baby furniture. We have yet to pick out bedding, or paint, or anything of that sort! We probably should get going on some of that in case she decides to show up early. The next two and half months will fly by! Here are some 27 week belly shots. And one last apology for the long hiatus. Love to you all!

29 May 2005

One of the best, most incredible days of my life. Can't believe it's been 4 years since I became Rebecca Suzanne Lawson. I have the most amazing husband in the whole world. We get to welcome our first baby in October....this is going to be a great year for us! I love you so much Christopher, and I am so lucky to be your wife! Thanks for making every day so special, and loving me the way you do. I don't deserve you, but I'm so glad I have you! I hope I can make you as happy as you make me. Happy Anniversary! xoxo

Isaiah 44:24

"This is what the LORD says—
your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb:
I am the LORD,
who has made all things,
who alone stretched out the heavens,
who spread out the earth by myself"

Gluten Free at Starbucks!

Thank you Starbucks for making a Gluten Free Snack available! I may not be a big fan of your coffee, but I am SO thankful for this new snack! P.S. Haven't tried it yet, but hope to soon!

Click here for details!

encouragement

Matthew 11
28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

it's a GIRL!

So, I was definitely wrong, and pleasantly surprised! Chris and I were both leaning toward wanting a girl (though we would be happy either way!) So exciting! We are withholding her name....it's a surprise. We do know her name though. She is very active and we got some really cool pictures from the ultrasound on Wednesday. I definitely feel more connected to her knowing that it's a her. Not that it wasn't still special being pregnant, but I am really glad we decided to find out. Please join us in praying that God continues to watch over her and protect her. She has an isolated Choroid Plexus Cyst on her brain (which is a normal variant, and found in 1-3% of 2nd trimester ultrasounds.) Alone, they cause no problems and go away by week 24 or so. They can, however, be a soft marker for a genetic disorder (only when found alongside other abnormalities) - though 99% of the time they are part of normal fetal development. We know God has a plan for her and we will go back for another ultrasound around week 26-28 to make sure the cyst is gone and everything else still looks good (all her measurements were perfect, exactly on her due date, and no abnormalities were found.) Thanks for praying for her, and for thinking of us! We are so excited for her to be here in the fall!

dreams

Been praying a lot lately about all of my worries. Though unwarranted, they scare me and, as most people with anxiety disorder will tell you, it's hard to get them off my mind. I have fears about things that are so rare, and so obviously not happening to me, yet still they scare me on a daily basis. I wish I could be like the rest of most people (with their heads in the clouds where days pass quickly with no thought given to worry or fear)...it used to be a little easier, but since I had to stop taking medicine for panic during pregnancy, it's gotten a whole lot more difficult. Chris prayed for me out loud twice last night, and I slept better than I have in weeks. I think this needs to be happening a lot more often. We find out what we're having in 24 hours. I didn't have a whole dream about it last night, but just a picture, and it was a boy. We'll see!

tired pup

He's all tired......guess having a baby around all morning (babysitting my friend's son Caleb) makes for a very tired puppy....

18 week baby bump

cinco de mayo

a rainy week. a very rainy week. not much to do with this rainy weather that won't leave. mama left today (tear) but thankfully will be back in a few weeks with dad. I should make enchiladas or something today, but I just don't feel up to that. just over a week to go before we find out if baby lawson is a boy or girl. i was so patient until just now, now I just want it to be here! I am loving my friend's new blog about her unfolding adoption story (ethiopiascalling.blogspot.com) You really must read it. I've been meaning to post some pictures of our dinner out last weekend with friends at Minomi.....messing up my gluten free requests means more for everyone....ALWAYS A GOOD THING!


Chris and I


Eric and Stef


Ken and Martha

holy snapping turtle

So....I saw this strange thing crossing the road on Friday. Not knowing what it was (I thought armadillo at first)...the dog started barking so I went to investigate. Low and behold, a snapping turtle about a foot and a half long was crawling through my front yard with a big mud clump on its back! YIKES! I was freaking out texting all my neighbors, trying to figure out how to get it out. My neighbors -smart as they are- decided they would shoo it into a big bucket face first and carry it back to the ravine across the street. The turtle was not happy. Hilarious Friday morning for all involved (well, all except the turtle)...

if it's not one thing, it's another

What beautiful, amazing, springy weather this weekend! I know it's warm, but I LOVE this weather! I love the freshly cut grass and campfires at night. Our neighborhood yard sale today was exhausting, but a lot of fun. I found my favorite brand new DVD in the entire world- Something's Gotta Give - for $1!!!! Our bake sale was a hit, though I didn't make, or eat any of it.....It brought lots of people our way. So, we may have spent about what we made (which wasn't much) but it was fun sitting out and talking with our neighbors and walking around the block. As fun as it was, I ended up napping the entire afternoon with my feet up, trying to relieve some round ligament pain and chugging water. What in the world do we need a round ligament for anyway? This has been the best week for me since January (with consistent days, so crazy!) and I've been going going going, trying to make the most of it! Nashville was a happenin' place to be this weekend too with the Music City Marathon, the Franklin Street Festival, the Nashville Flea Market, and loads of neighborhood sales. Exhaustion is setting in, but I'm super super excited for my mom to come on Tuesday (yay Mom!) Plus, my parents snagged half-price tickets on Southwest to Nashville in May from Omaha ($61/one way!!!) for the Hillsong United Concert! Lots to look forward to! :-) love to you!

a little something to lift my spirits....

One way to combat the feeling of nausea? Retail therapy, my friends! Well, not exactly....but we've chosen some pieces for the nursery, which is exciting and does, in some way, minimize feeling crummy. After lots of web searching, we've decided on a crib from Stanley Young America. (Mainly because Nebraska Furniture Mart can get it, but also because its made right here, in the US.) I was recently informed that drop-side rail cribs are hazardous, and should be avoided....

See the article here....

But we've decided to go with a four-way conversion crib. I LOVE the way it looks!



We also decided on our stroller and car seat (after test-driving some strollers at Babies R Us last Saturday.) We decided to get the Combi Helio. It had mixed reviews, but I really like the way it folds (to basically nothing), weighs just 12 pounds, and is compatible with the Shuttle car seat. It also has a pretty tall handle (great for a tall mom-to-be like me!) The biggest complaint I saw was that the bag underneath was too small, but why on earth do I need a million and one things with me at all times? I'm planning on getting a diaper bag that can be hung over the handle anyway. So, here they are....





We're finally figuring things out...only 20 days until we find out the gender of our little lawson! Can't wait for that!
Love to you all!

happy huskers

Since over half of my friend network is in Nebraska, I just knew y'all would enjoy this video...here's to you, you happy huskers!

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=7266970

when can i de-board this train?

15 weeks, 10 weeks of being mostly incapacitated. How much more can one person endure? I am jealous of all those moms-to-be who are actually enjoying this part of pregnancy. Why can't I be one of them? When people are so excited for me, and the most I can do is force a smile and pretend I'm not feeling absolutely miserable. I feel like a bad mom already. People keep telling me to hang in there, it'll get better...and I'm trying to keep the doubts out of my mind...but it's hard to see the light (it's more of a pin-hole) at the end of the tunnel. And I keep praying...but not much has changed. I hate being undependable. I hate having to bail out on get-togethers.

Chris' mom and dad were here this weekend, which was so great. I just wish I'd felt better and been more social. We did get to go to the Grand Ole' Opry, which was really fun. It took my mind off the nausea, just for a bit. I miss them already and am looking forward to seeing my mom in a few weeks. :-)

fishers of men

Rise and follow me
I'll make you worthy
Rise and follow me
I'll make you fishers of men.

Rise and follow me
I'll make you worthy
Rise and follow me
I'll make you fishers of men.

Peter, John, and James
Could never be the same
After they heard him say
I'll make you fishers of men.

He said, Rise and follow me
I'll make you worthy
Rise and follow me
I'll make you fishers of men.
He said, Rise and follow me
I'll make you worthy
Rise and follow me
I'll make you fishers of men.

Cast your nets aside
and join the battle tide
He will be your guide
To make you fishers of men.

He said, Rise and follow me
I'll make you worthy
Rise and follow me
I'll make you fishers of men.
He said, Rise and follow me
I'll make you worthy
Rise and follow me
I'll make you fishers of men.

Jesus bore the cross
To gather in the lost
Oh what a mighty cost
To set us free from sin.

He said, Rise and follow me
I'll make you worthy
Rise and follow me
I'll make you fishers of men.
He said, Rise and follow me
I'll make you worthy
Rise and follow me
I'll make you fishers of men.

This song was sung by Rhonda Vincent at the Grand Ole Opry this weekend, and it really moved me. I highly recommend downloading it.

Blessings this Easter!

overdue update...and a little surprise

Yes, to my three dedicated readers (you know who you are) I apologize for the hiatus. It's been 2 months since I last posted anything, and it's time to get back into it. There's good reason for my absence and as most of you know now, this is the reason....



It's a little Lawson! This ultrasound picture was taken at 9 1/2 weeks. A lot of the reason I hadn't been writing is because the only thing I would have been writing about was how absolutely miserable I felt. I'm 14 weeks now, and it seems as if the worst is behind me. I definitely did NOT expect two full months of not being able to keep ice chips down! After trial and error, and loads of medication, I'm finally on the mend (and on a healthy dose of Zofran). Unfortunately, I lost close to 15 pounds over the course of the first trimester, and was still down 10 this morning at my appointment, so I'm really needing to put on some weight! My midwife was a tiny bit concerned, but overall, things are much better. I'm trying to eat more, it's just hard when the nausea comes and goes in waves (mostly at night).....but hey, I'll take that over what it was ANY day! I had lots of well-intentioned advice while I was going through the SEVERE nausea and vomiting phase, but I definitely did NOT have typical "morning sickness". Thankfully, I don't have any posts to look back through about the nightmare that was the first trimester, because I hope to forget about it completely- most people say you forget ALL about it, and I sure hope they're right!

We heard the heartbeat for the first time this morning (we saw it on the ultrasound at 9 weeks, but the tech didn't turn the volume up...) So crazy to actually hear our baby for the first time! We ARE planning on finding out the gender, and will know on May 13th! Before I got pregnant, I thought I'd want it to be a surprise, but now I MUST know! The baby is due October 6th. I can't thank you (those of you who already knew) for the prayers. I've been praying every day, but to know that people around me are as well, really made a HUGE difference!

notes about me

I absolutely adore animals...of any kind. In addition to my dog Moby and 2 cats, Ami and Soco, my favorites are giraffes and sea turtles. Don't ask me why.

I recently watched a sea turtle at the Chattanooga Aquarium for 30 minutes, right next to the glass, and wished I had a tank big enough at home to bring him along.

As a homeowner, I've come to the stark realization that my parents were right all along, there are always things to be done.

Unfortunately, I currently have no motivation to work full-time, other than that at some point in the future I want to do music in some capacity, and have no intention of pursuing a career using my Bachelor of Journalism.

I quite frequently wish that student loans had not accompanied this lack of focus, or perhaps that I had figured it out sooner.

I have perfect pitch, and quite frequently am asked to sing a "G" for my husband to tune his guitar to.

I substitute teach, and have aspirations of home schooling my future children.

Chris and I plan to adopt (after trying for and, God willing, successfully having a biological child) from Asia (hoping to adopt within the next 5 years) and would ideally like to have two biological and two adoptive children, intermixed.

I know some Chinese, and listen to Pimsleur CD's to further my knowledge of the language- Ni Hao!

My dog is currently at the bottom of the stairs, whining because Chris is up there and he can't get to him.

My favorite movie in the world is "Something's Gotta Give." That part where Diane Keaton is hysterically crying, after Jack Nicholson leaves, I laugh so hard I cry.

I can't stand Nicholas Cage. I don't know what it is, but his acting drives me crazy.

I can sleep for over 12 hours at a time, but try my hardest not to....

My grandfather was an artist, and though I don't consider myself a good one, I'd like to think I got my love of art from him.

If I won a large sum of money, I'd put enough away in savings to live off the interest and donate the rest to charity.

I tend to be a very random person and have trouble explaining exactly how these unrelated ideas pop into my head.

I inherited an anxiety disorder from my dad, who refuses to admit that he has anxiety, and now have to be on medication so I don't have panic attacks.

I cannot multi-task, and as such will never claim to be good at it on a resume.

I sing in the shower, but who doesn't?

I would LOVE to live overseas at some point...Ireland, England, China, Spain..I'm not particular.

If I ever get enough motivation, I hope to improve my piano playing skills...or lack thereof.

I would also love to take up Violin.

I love the show LOST. It's really the only show I watch on a regular basis...and I was really looking forward to it coming back.

I can't eat anything with wheat, barley, oats, or rye due to the fact that I have Celiac Disease. However, since being diagnosed 3 years ago, I'm doing much better at finding foods I can eat, and modifying recipes.

I believe God created the Universe, that Jesus was His Son, and that his grace is the ONLY reason I will know him in Heaven.

the woes of January

There's a chill in the air, meaning the dead of winter in Tennessee has finally arrived. Although it may be short lived, it's never short enough. Waking to temperatures in the single digits feels like torture in this state. Somehow one grows accustomed to the highs and lows of different parts of the country quite quickly. Where 25 degrees may feel warm during a Nebraska winter (some people wear no coats!), the same temp is utterly unbearable in Nashville. I've come to realize that I just can't handle that kind of cold. Give me 100 degrees any day over being so chilled to the bone I have to shower to warm up!

The one thing I'm thankful for about the cold is being able to have a fire. Our fireplace finally has a job, and fulfillment in life, thanks to Pine Mountain logs. If you have never experienced the beauty of these, it's a log wrapped in paper that you place into the fireplace, light, and let go. It's lasts about 4 hours, and has been the highlight of my evening. I just love cuddling up by the fire with a book and some cocoa. I can't get enough. In fact, I'd like to move my bedroom to the living room so I could enjoy the fire more often.

i think i'll go make some cocoa now...

ushering in a new year

2009 has officially begun, technically just over a day ago....but honestly, it feels no different. As always, it will probably take a good solid month before writing '09 at the end of a check will become automatic...which always annoyed me about the beginning of each new year. I was listening to resolutions of the Husker and Clemson football teams yesterday during the Gator Bowl- one memorable moment was that one of them wanted to give up fast food-after the season..... I resolve to write more. It's something I have been attempting to do, unsuccessfully, for the past few months. I'd love to find a direction for this blog, be it food, entertainment, crafting, or something else altogether. Perhaps I'll keep this blog about my personal life, and create another for something more specific? I also resolve to become the pack leader over my dog. Watching the Dog Whisperer was an eye opening experience highlighting my utter failure as a leader of my pack. I can't help it...I love to love on my pup. We'll see if this is achievable, but I know the failure is mine, so it's a start.

Happy 2009!