our birth story

On September 24, 2009, God blessed us with a beautiful, healthy, perfect baby girl. Johanna Mae Lawson, 7 lbs 4 oz, 19 inches long. I cannot believe it's almost been a week since my life completely changed. It feels like a whirlwind. I'm caught in a mix of crazy emotions, trying to remember each and every moment up until now. It's unbelievable how sleep deprivation doesn't hinder your desire to care for your child. I never thought I could survive on such a small amount of sleep.

At 6:50 PM on Tuesday, September 22, my water broke. I was standing near the oven, cooking some dinner, and it just happened. I was in disbelief at first...thinking, could this be it? So I called the midwife on call, who happened to be my midwife Linda, who said I should come in to the clinic in the morning to verify. I had been having irregular contractions for two days before, but they were coming every 7-20 or even 30 minutes apart. I figured they were just Braxton Hicks. I was praying all night long that they'd pick up, so I wouldn't have to worry about augmenation with Pitocin. After a sleepless night, I still wasn't having any regular contractions by morning. I decided to hold off going to the clinic until after lunch, to buy myself more time. We headed to the eye doctor to pick up my new glasses before heading downtown. (Hey, I wanted my new glasses!) Thank GOD we packed our bags on Sunday!

After arriving at West End Women's Clinic, they hooked me up for a non-stress test to monitor Johanna and to see my contractions. Linda checked and said I was 4 cm dialated, 75% effaced, and contracting every 3-4 minutes. We decided we would just head over to Vanderbilt Medical Center to labor there, because we didn't want to drive all the way home. Knowing I needed to be in active labor by 7 pm (they give you 24 hours from the time your water breaks to get things going) we met our doula Annie at the hospital and began to walk the halls to get labor moving. By 7pm, the on-call midwife came in to check me, which revealed I hadn't progressed from the 4cm I arrived at. After a good cry, I realized I had no choice but to accept augmentation with Pitocin. It was a huge deviation from my birth plan, but the risk of infection after 24 hours is really great and I just knew we needed to have her soon. Chris and I prayed, and talked and agreed we would be OKAY! The nurse agreed to start slow, at 2 units and said we would work our way up every 30-45 minutes. Terrified, I prayed God would give me strength to withstand the Pitocin without further intervention. There were so many times I felt I couldn't go on, but Chris and Annie were amazing and kept telling me "Beck, you're doing it!" I began pushing around 3 AM (well, I think anyway...we took the clock down) and I kept asking "how much longer? how much longer?" The only response I was given was "soon, very soon." I felt like I had no strength left, but somehow God gave me the strength to make it through it, and our beautiful amazing daughter was born naturally, without drugs, at 4:38 AM Thursday morning. All I could think was "we did it!" It was the most empowering feeling knowing that my body did what God created it to do...and joining the ranks of generations past who've done the same. I'm just so thankful we were able to have the experience of natural childbirth and so thankful to God for giving me the strength to do it.

Happy Birthday my love!

Introducing Johanna Mae Lawson. Born 9/24/2009 at 4:38 AM. 7 lbs. 4 oz. 19 inches long. She is amazing. I can't believe how good God is. Praise Him for his amazing creation!

less than 2 weeks...but she'll come when she wants!

People keep asking what my "due date" is, and it's getting somewhat exhausting to explain to people that traditionally "due dates" are just an arbitrary number that was developed by doctors in the early 1900's to describe what they thought was the "correct gestation" period of a typical fetus. We prefer to call it our "guess date". What research shows is that average gestation time for a first time mom is 41 weeks 1 day....AVERAGE! Which means that people go longer and shorter. Unfortunately, many babies are considered "late" after 40 weeks and unnecessary inductions take place as a result. Sadly, inductions lead to increases in epidurals, failure to progress, cesarean sections, and other unnecessary complications. Also, so many people are induced due to "suspected big babies" but there is no research to show that this is necessary or accurate. Read a great article about big babies HERE.
There is virtually no way to tell how big a baby will be in utero, nor are ultrasounds an accurate description or weight or size (they can be off by 2 lbs. in either direction!) My heart really goes out to people who are uninformed, and scared into unnecessary induction due to having a "big baby."
I feel so blessed to be working with a midwife, who will not even speak of induction until I near 42 weeks, nor pressure me to have my baby. I feel relaxed and confident that my baby will come when she's ready. I finally packed my bags last night, and I am slowly getting things done. I know not everything will be done before she arrives, but honestly I'm okay with that. I'm excited about letting labor happen naturally, and am looking forward to finally meeting my daughter in the near future...whenever she decides to come. Can't wait to introduce her to the world!

All glory to Him!

After waiting not so patiently, I finally called the midwife on-call one day to DEMAND answers....and what do you know...the lab had rushed the results of the serum bile test. My levels were low and I am free to continue with my original childbirth plan! Praise GOD! Apparently they didn't call because they figured I would think "no news is good news". Do they know me????? Seriously. I am so relieved, and the itching isn't nearly as bad now as it was two weeks ago. They said there are a small number of people who do not fit into the ICP category but have unexplained itching in pregnancy without a rash. I guess pregnancy can just do really weird things to your body. Though they said it was good I had the tests run because usually itching without a rash does signal ICP. What an answer to prayer. I know a lot of you have been praying for us, and I want to say with all my heart, your prayers were felt. I know that God listens and hears our petitions and this was definitely an answer to prayer!
Love to you all!

important week

Had a follow up appt. on Friday to draw more blood for another Serum Bile Acid test. I'm now in the waiting period once again. However, this weekend I resolved to get answers. After hearing from others in my birthing class, I feel assured it is not only important, but CRITICAL to find someone who can give me answers by the end of the week. I can't keep waiting around, not knowing if I truly have the condition. At this point, I've started on Ursodiol (Actigall), the medication used to treat ICP. It's safe to take in pregnancy, but regardless everything I've read says that induction around 37 weeks is essential to ensure safety of the baby. I will be 37 weeks on Saturday. I plan on finding someone who can push for the blood results, which will show if I have ICP. If no one can get the test results, I am going to push forward for induction of our baby early next week. I can't just "wait and see" what happens. We know that if I do have ICP, the risk of stillbirth after 37 weeks jumps from 1% in the normal population, to 15%. I'm not willing to take that risk. At this point, prayers are needed that we can find someone, ANYONE, who will do everything it takes to help us make sure our baby is safe and healthy.

Also, a few pictures of the nursery:
It's not anywhere near complete, but the walls are done!

brief update

After waiting, and lots of worrying and praying, we heard today that the lab was unable to successfully process my bloodwork in regards to the Serum Bile Acid test. We have to have results to know if there is a diagnosis of ICP (Cholestasis of Pregnancy). We know that God is at work and watching over us, but patience is running thin and it is incredibly hard waiting. Our next course of action is to have blood drawn again, possibly tomorrow, and to wait some more (assuming they can figure out what caused the error in the test). We may possibly meet with Maternal Fetal Medicine regarding our situation in the next few days. If I have the condition, the protocol is to induce at 37 weeks (I will be 36 weeks on Saturday). Since it is such a time-sensitive issue, we are praying new test results could be expedited, if possible, and that we will be able to consult with someone who knows more about the condition and risks. At this point we are only working with our Certified Nurse Midwife (who is incredibly thoughtful and doing her best to help, but) whose scope of practice is generally healthy pregnancies. Please pray that God would guide us and lead us to the right people to help us make the best and safest decisions for our baby!

remain calm

Starting with a scripture I was given last night, while reading, searching, and praying.

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”
Exodus 14:14 from the New Living Translation

Also, my Mom got the same message, just hours before and posted on her blog HERE.
I had no idea, just found out, how cool!

I've been having some mild to moderate itching...and it all started about a week and half ago. I noticed the palm of my hand was really itchy, but thought maybe I touched something that caused a skin reaction. Didn't think much else of it until this Tuesday. All day long, I had mild itching that got progressively worse into the evening. I started scratching my skin SO hard, I left a deep bruise on my thigh. It worried me a little, especially since there was no visible rash anywhere, so I scoured the internet to see if I could find a remedy...something that would take the itch away. I soon found that there is a condition called ICP (Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy) that can cause itching without a rash usually beginning in the third trimester and getting worse in the evening. It only affects 1 or 2 of 1000 women, and while it causes what seems to be harmless itching, it can be dangerous for the unborn baby. It's a condition related to the gallbladder and liver, where bile salts pool in the blood stream causing itching, and if bile salts in the blood cross over into the placenta it can cause problems for the baby. About 5 AM Wednesday morning, I called the on-call midwife when the itching woke me up. She suggested I come into the clinic for a blood draw to test for the condition. At this point, I am still awaiting lab results, and having a really hard time staying calm, being patient, and having faith that God is in control, and always has been.
Waiting is the hardest thing to do when it involves something so important as the well-being of your unborn child. Feeling helpless, I cried out to God last night and he gave me Exodus 14:14. It is not His will for harm to come to our baby. He will FIGHT for her. He is fighting for her, and I need to remain calm. Please pray that I would meditate on that, that He would fight for her, protect her, and keep her safe until she's in our arms.

a new hobby emerges....

I can finally post pictures of a new hobby I've taken to recently. After receiving a gorgeous handmade baby gift from a girlfriend back home, I decided I needed to figure out how to make my own adorable embroidered baby gifts! See hers HERE.

To start, I visited Sublime Stitching and ordered the "La Petite Embroidery Kit". It includes everything you need to get started, plus a pattern pack of your choice. I also ordered a few more patterns, thinking I may as well have them all shipped together. The kit came with 4 colors of embroidery floss, but I decided to go to Micheal's for a few more, and found they're only 35 cents a piece! So, I picked up a bunch of colors I like, and got to work!

My first project was a monkey onesie for a friend's son (he turned 1 on the 4th of July but his party was last weekend). I'm having a lot of fun with the patterns. I picked up some plain white onesies at Babies 'R' Us to get started with. I'll post more pictures soon, but here is the first finished product!

july 19 = pure bliss

I sit here and type this, smack in the middle of july, with the windows open, cool breeze blowing the curtains and birds singing. Wow, it just can't get better than this! 75 degrees in Nashville, in JULY!? The past two days have been absolutely amazing. The weather is just incredible. I wish this would go on forever.
We had an amazing morning at RHCC, and lunch with friends at Panera afterward. So great to hang with fun people on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Need to get things moving in the way of nursery furniture, painting, etc. but that will just have to wait. Off to enjoy what's left of this amazing afternoon with my husband!

Food, Inc.

On Saturday afternoon, Chris and I went to see Food, Inc., a documentary just released about large food corporations (specifically meat processing and packing). As someone who has been generally interested in, and skeptical of, meat processing here in America, I didn't need much convincing that there is something incredibly messed up about the entire system. I buy local fruit and vegetables whenever possible, as well as free range eggs, organic chicken, and grain-fed beef whenever possible. I had to turn away at quite a few of the scenes depicted in the movie. Mainly, I just felt outrage about lack of consumer knowledge, and even more-so about the way that these large corporations view the general public and their right to know.

There we so many take-home messages. I know lots of people (I mean I personally know) lots of people who buy things solely on the basis of price. I'm not saying this is in every case wrong, but there are still so many ways to make better choices. I was once told that "you don't have to support the ideas of a company just because you purchase things from them." I must say that I wholeheartedly disagree with that. When you purchase a product, or from a store, you are voting for them. You are saying what they do is okay by you. I feel strongly that it is important to support local agriculture, as well as businesses that have ethical practices. You don't have to pay a fortune for quality food, you just have to be particularly aware of the things you are buying and look for sales.

-buy things at farmer's markets and from road-side stands
-buy things in season
-join a local CSA (go to localharvest.org)
-when you can't buy organic, buy things you can take the skin off of (bananas, melons, etc.) vs. what you eat with the skin on (apples, berries)

I highly recommend seeing this documentary, if for nothing else to at least become more educated about the foods we partake of and put our trust in.