How I long to sing a new song. The past month I've spent with Joey in the valley, living a nightmare of IV's, injections and unknowns. Just one month ago Johanna was admitted to Children's hospital-diagnosed with a rare condition called Neutropenia. Never in my life have I imagined my baby, my only child being poked and prodded, over and over. Seeing her so weak and vulnerable was one of the hardest times of my life. Knowing there was nothing I could do to ease the pain was excruciating. A video I saw today reminded me how thankful I am Johanna was not diagnosed with cancer. However, there are still so many "how's" and "why's". Every time I have to give her an injection I cringe. I would take 100 shots if I could spare her one. How it seems sometimes I am stuck in that miry clay-quicksand pulling me down. If it weren't for God throwing me that rope, I would've sunk long ago.
Well, it's my little sweetie's first birthday, and I can't help but remember the anticipation, joy, and overwhelming love I experienced just one year ago today. My entire life changed the day Johanna was born. This year has been full of ups and downs, but through it all I've been made stronger. Having Johanna gave me confidence in myself that I never had before. It gave me a sense of greater purpose. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world, but is also incredibly rewarding. I treasure the cuddles, smiles and kisses. I love her giggles, they are sweet music to my ears.
Her first birthday party is on Sunday afternoon! We'll have TONS of family and friends to celebrate with!
Here are some pictures of her first day with us-pictures of the zoo to come!
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| September 5, 2010 |
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| Birth Day, September 24, 2009 |
I'd like to take the opportunity to thank the Sears' for their dedication to parenting and pediatrics! I also want to encourage all of my mom, and mom-to-be friends to get to know the philosophies presented by William, Martha, Jim, and Robert Sears! Each of their books has given me a world of valuable information and I truly feel that they are shaping the medical field as we know it! Visit http://www.askdrsears.com for the latest information on parenting, child-rearing, pediatric questions and more!
This past weekend I heard of a local family who has a daughter just one day older than Johanna who has been diagnosed with SMA type 1. I'd never heard of this genetic disorder, nor known anyone with an affected child. It struck home, knowing that this sweet, precious girl is exactly the same age as mine, yet will not survive much longer. My heart breaks for her parents, relatives, and friends. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain this diagnosis and disease has brought them. I know in my heart that God is good, and faithful, and has a plan, but how hard it must be to hold onto hope when faced with losing your precious child. Each time I think of it, I cry. These parents have more courage than I've ever had to have and hearing their story inspires me to just live each moment in joy with my daughter.
Upon researching "cloth diapers and swimming," I just realized there are cloth swim diapers! How have I been a cloth diaper addict and not known this?!? I am pretty much obsessed with everything cloth diaper related, yet I did not know there were swim dipes! Well, I am on a quest to find a few now, because my sweet johanna LOVES the water! After a trip to Hillcrest Country Club to swim today, I think we may be making swimming a very regular occurrence this summer! Now I know there are Bummis, Thirsties, Imse Visme, and a few other brands...but I'm going to need to do some research as to which to go with. I am a HUGE fuzzi bunz fan, but as far as I know they are not in the cloth swim diaper market. Why pay $7 for a pack of name brand swimmers, when you can spend $12 and get a reusable, eco friendly swim diaper!?
Thank you, drivers in Nebraska for being on record for the lowest number of vehicular accidents since 1944 (166). There have only been 54 fatalities on Nebraska roads since January. This is good news. Also, surprising considering the winter y'all had. Good work. Let's keep it up. No one wants to get hurt.
I've decided to start a journal for johanna. Wish I had started it sooner!
johannamaesjournal.blogspot.com
First topic, her first word!
A conversation with a cousin of Chris' (who has two daughters, 5 and 7) prompted this post. Chloe, the 7 year old is in kindergarten and is already being teased about clothes, hair, etc. I'm sure teasing has been happening for pretty much forever, but now that I have a daughter I am super sensitive to the thought that in just a few short years, girls could be bullying her. So how does one keep their child from being bullied (or becoming a bully?) I'm sure most involved parents would shudder to think their sweet innocent kindergardener could be the one tormenting his or her friends. I think a lot of it is in the attitude of the parents. Just the thought of sweet Chloe getting made fun of took me back to elementary school and the countless times I cried over not getting invited to a slumber party or birthday bash. A lesson learned in my Mom 2 Mom group this year is really resonating with me "remind your kids whose they are and whom they belong to." I think it is so important to instill self-confidence from a Godly perspective at a very young age. If I can teach Johanna to love herself because she is loved, perhaps I can at least protect her from the bullies that may await. It's also important as a mother, to speak kindly of others, building up instead of knocking down friends or family members. I know you can't protect your children from everything-but mean girls get their start so young (think toddlers and tiaras.) However, it's encouraging to know that you can start to build good character traits and self-esteem at any time! I hope I can be that kind of Mom.
