our birth story

On September 24, 2009, God blessed us with a beautiful, healthy, perfect baby girl. Johanna Mae Lawson, 7 lbs 4 oz, 19 inches long. I cannot believe it's almost been a week since my life completely changed. It feels like a whirlwind. I'm caught in a mix of crazy emotions, trying to remember each and every moment up until now. It's unbelievable how sleep deprivation doesn't hinder your desire to care for your child. I never thought I could survive on such a small amount of sleep.

At 6:50 PM on Tuesday, September 22, my water broke. I was standing near the oven, cooking some dinner, and it just happened. I was in disbelief at first...thinking, could this be it? So I called the midwife on call, who happened to be my midwife Linda, who said I should come in to the clinic in the morning to verify. I had been having irregular contractions for two days before, but they were coming every 7-20 or even 30 minutes apart. I figured they were just Braxton Hicks. I was praying all night long that they'd pick up, so I wouldn't have to worry about augmenation with Pitocin. After a sleepless night, I still wasn't having any regular contractions by morning. I decided to hold off going to the clinic until after lunch, to buy myself more time. We headed to the eye doctor to pick up my new glasses before heading downtown. (Hey, I wanted my new glasses!) Thank GOD we packed our bags on Sunday!

After arriving at West End Women's Clinic, they hooked me up for a non-stress test to monitor Johanna and to see my contractions. Linda checked and said I was 4 cm dialated, 75% effaced, and contracting every 3-4 minutes. We decided we would just head over to Vanderbilt Medical Center to labor there, because we didn't want to drive all the way home. Knowing I needed to be in active labor by 7 pm (they give you 24 hours from the time your water breaks to get things going) we met our doula Annie at the hospital and began to walk the halls to get labor moving. By 7pm, the on-call midwife came in to check me, which revealed I hadn't progressed from the 4cm I arrived at. After a good cry, I realized I had no choice but to accept augmentation with Pitocin. It was a huge deviation from my birth plan, but the risk of infection after 24 hours is really great and I just knew we needed to have her soon. Chris and I prayed, and talked and agreed we would be OKAY! The nurse agreed to start slow, at 2 units and said we would work our way up every 30-45 minutes. Terrified, I prayed God would give me strength to withstand the Pitocin without further intervention. There were so many times I felt I couldn't go on, but Chris and Annie were amazing and kept telling me "Beck, you're doing it!" I began pushing around 3 AM (well, I think anyway...we took the clock down) and I kept asking "how much longer? how much longer?" The only response I was given was "soon, very soon." I felt like I had no strength left, but somehow God gave me the strength to make it through it, and our beautiful amazing daughter was born naturally, without drugs, at 4:38 AM Thursday morning. All I could think was "we did it!" It was the most empowering feeling knowing that my body did what God created it to do...and joining the ranks of generations past who've done the same. I'm just so thankful we were able to have the experience of natural childbirth and so thankful to God for giving me the strength to do it.